A Borderlands Tale: After the Death of Scooter Part 1
by EridiumWriter
Summary: Scooter wakes up from the teleportation-explosion and finds himself on a gem-like planet. It's been over-run by a tyrannical, sadistic ruler for decades and the dwellers there recruit Scooter as their conquering hero.


The world was black.

Scooter laid dazed and confused, ears ringing, sprawled spread eagle on the ground. Arms outstretched and feeling heavy, he was struggling to figure out what in the blazes happened. Then slowly like a garage door going up, he started to see some white and colorful outlines of varying shapes and...was that Butt Stallion he was seeing? No, it couldn't be...she was back on Pandora...right? He was on Pandora...right? Scooter sat up shaking his head clearing away the cobwebs that were settling in. As he looked at "Butt Stallion" he realized it was similar to her but not the same. This was _another_ "Butt Stallion." He glanced around more and to his surprise there was a herd of Butt Stallions munching on what looked like crystallized grass!

As he took in more of the scenery he realize he was not on Pandora... he found himself on a planet made out of...gems?! "Oh man! Wait 'til Ellie gets a load of this!" Or at least everything looked like gems. He was too absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't hear a voice behind him.

"Oh good, you're awake!," said a small and overly chipper voice. "We thought our last hope was obliterated when our device blew up"

Scooter looked around for the voice, his trusty wrench ready to attack his foe. "Wha-wha?! Who said that and whaddya mean?"

The little alien was quite literally made out of gems! Scooter stepped back out of surprised, "Ohhhh...crapppp..! You ain't gonna kill me aren't you? 'Cause if you do..well...you'll never take me alive you freakin sum of a mother-trucker!"

"I'm not going to do anything to you and...would you please put down that sparkly wicked thing there?!" Scooter didn't realize that he was waving around his wrench like a madman and quickly stopped. The strange alien stretched out his hand and Scooter hesitantly shook it.

"Oh...right sorry. I jus' get carried away...ya know? He-he." Sheepishly he rubbed the back of his neck placing his wrench in his back pocket. "You startled me and well...he-he..I've never seen nor heard of an alien like you. Mind if I take a gander?" Before the little alien could protest, he scooped up the little creature and gave it a thorough glance. "Well I'll be darned! Ain't you somethin' to be reckoned with! Ha-ha!" The creature squirmed but was delighted to be held. "My name's Squitz and my people request your help. We think you're the only one who can help us!"

Scooter knelt to the ground as the little guy hopped off. "So eh...what kind of help do ya need? Like mechanic kind of help or killing the villain? Oh please say that you need guns ablazing! That would be the best possible saynario! I never got much of a chance to blast things back on Pandora! Hey just confirming...we're not on Pandora are we?"

"Uh..no you're not on Pandora. This is Zirconia! We used our teleporter before the explosion disintegrated you. And oh...well of course you can use guns! That is precisely what we would like you to be. We need a hero in this desperate hour." They walked towards the creature's settlement, Squitz dealt out the dirty details of their plight. "The villain you'll be battling against is Quydbottum."

Scooter belted out a laugh. "Squidbottom? Ha-ha! What a stupid name! That sounds like he has a squid on his bottom! Ha-ha."

Squitz paused and stared at Scooter. "Yes, he does have a stupid name but his name is QUYD-bottum. He used to be a cyborg that we created to better our lives. Unfortunately, some of us mistreated him so now he's a thorn in our side. We have attempted numerous amount of times to apologize to Quydbottum. However he's rejected our apologies and this work of a jerk has been rampaging all over our planet; destroying homes, squishing everyone..." Squitz dropped his gem-shaped head speaking in a somber tone. "Including most of my family...everything in his path and he won't stop until he has decimated every living thing on this planet."

Scooter pondered what Squitz said for a moment taking out his wrench turning it around in his hands. "Well...when do I get to bust his rear?" He aimed his wrench in the air like he's going to smack the villain. "'Cause Spanny here needs some heads to crunch!"


End file.
